1960s. Campus of the Collegeof Southern California.
“It’s great to have you back on campus,” Ned told Rachel as they walked across the quadrangle. “I missed you last year.”
Rachel had spent her junior year in Vienna, doing research on the pre-World War II Austrian Jewish community of which her father and Aunt Hannah’s relatives had been apart. She was going to write up her research for a senior honors thesis. “I sent you more letters than everybody else combined,” she said, kicking off her flipflops and dropping her backpack in the shade of a large oak.
“I know. But it wasn’t the same as really talking to you.”
Rachel sat down, hugging her knees. “Maybe you should have gone away junior year, too.”
“I thought about it,” Ned admitted, lying back on the grass. “A change of scenery might have been cool. But there’s so much work to be done right here. I kept pretty busy. I got to ditch the dorm scene, anyway. Vince, Seth, Danny, and I have a great pad in a house off campus. You have to come by soon.”
“Do you still enjoy it as much as you used to? The protests and the rallies and all that?”
“Sure. The movement is more urgent and exciting than ever. But that’s not what you really want to know about, is it?” Ned grinned at his cousin. “What you’re really wondering is whether I’ve finally found a girlfriend or whether you should take another shot at fixing me up with one of your roommates.”
Rachel laughed. “I’ve tried that too many times! If you’re determined to be a lone wolf, I’m not going to be able to change you.”
“I’m not determined to be alone, Rach. It’s just happened that way.”
Rachel was skeptical. After Rainbow, Ned had continued to attract girls like a magnet, but as far as she knew, he hadn’t dated a single one.
“Yeah, well, I guess I just want everybody to be as happy as I am.”
While she was in Vienna, she’d fallen in love with another American studying abroad. She and Paul had backpacked all over Europe together. It had been a magical year, and the best part of it was that Paul went to UCLA, so they could see each other every weekend now that they were back in the States.
“Well, the way you found Paul just goes to show that you can’t look for love. It just happens, right?”
“I suppose.” Rachel took a cheese-and-bean sprout sandwich from her backpack. “But you have to be open to it. You have to let it happen.”
Ned didn’t reply. She handed him half the sandwich. Ned’s dedication to the movement and to his prelaw studies was all very well and good. He achieved success at just about everything he put his mind to, and she admired him intensely. But Rachel couldn’t help feeling that for all his involvement in cutting-edge politics, Ned was missing out on one of the most important experiences the world had to offer. As she bit into her sandwich Rachel wondered if her cousin would ever open himself up to love—the thrill, the risk, the joy, the pain— again.
It had been a long time since Ned had taken time out to go surfing, and this afternoon it had felt good. A few hours of riding the waves had tired out his body and cleansed his mind. He felt completely refreshed.
Now he rested his board against a dune and sat down in the sand, staring pensively out over the blue Pacific. Down the shore he could hear the muted sounds of a beach party: Janis Joplin on a portable radio, shouts and laughter as an energetic volleyball game got under way.
The school year’s almost over, Ned thought. It was hard for him to believe that his college years were coming to a close. He’d applied to law schools and had already been admitted to a few programs. But something was holding him back from accepting any of the offers. It was such a big decision. Was he really choosing the right path?
Reflecting, Ned noticed a girl with long sun-streaked blonde hair standing at the water’s edge. He thought he recognized her as a C.S.C. student—she was probably part of the party down the beach. He watched her curiously, trying to read the language of her slim, tanned body. Bending, she picked up a stone and hurled it at an incoming wave. She threw another stone, then another. Boy, she’s mad at somebody! Ned thought.
Having vented her anger on the water, the girl waded into it, up to her knees, then her thighs, then her slender waist. She dove under the curl of a wave and began swimming out to sea with strong, graceful strokes. Farther and farther she swam. Ned stood up, shading his eyes against the afternoon sun. “Hey, that’s far enough,” he heard himself say out loud.
As if she’d received his message, the girl stopped swimming. He could see her floating peacefully on her back, her face to the sky. She’s OK, he told himself, settling back on the warm sand. But he kept his eye on her; the nearest lifeguard was a hundred yards down the beach.
After a few minutes, the girl began swimming back toward shore. Her strokes were slower, more leisurely. Then suddenly, she began swimming erratically. Ned could see that although she stroked and kicked for all she was worth, she wasn’t making any headway. An undertow! he realized. Jumping to his feet, he cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling, “Swim parallel to the shore! Don’t fight against it!” But she didn’t hear him. She continued to struggle futilely against the current.
Ned ran to the water’s edge. In the distance, he could see that the girl’s efforts to resist the undertow were getting weaker. She was tiring, maybe even cramping up. There wasn’t a moment to lose! Plunging into the ocean, he began swimming, pulling with all his might against the cold, resistant water, and kicking powerfully. Each time he took a breath, he checked the girl’s position. He had almost reached her when he saw a wave close over her head. She didn’t resurface. No! Ned thought, swimming faster.
Ned reached the spot where he thought she’d gone under. Treading water, he stared down into the salty depths. Would he be able to find her? He saw a glimmer of blonde hair, sinking, sinking... He dove.
His own lungs bursting, Ned fought his way back to the surface with one arm; the other was wrapped tightly around the limp body of the girl. She was alive but unconscious. Floating her on her back, he hooked his elbow under her chin to keep her head above water, then kicked back to the beach.
He carried her out of the water and laid her gently on the sand. He was about to begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when her eyelids flickered and opened. She stared up at him, uncomprehending. “Shh. Don’t try to move yet,” he told her, brushing a tendril of wet hair from her forehead. “You have to rest.”
For a moment, they gazed into each other’s eyes. Ned had an unaccountable sensation as he studied the delicate lines of her lovely face. He was certain he’d never met her, but nevertheless there was something strangely familiar about her tentative smile, her beautiful blue-green eyes.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by a crowd from the beach party. “Alice! Good heavens!” a male voice called in alarm. “Alice, are you all right?”
Ned turned to see Hank Patman pushing his way to the girl’s side. Ned stepped back and watched as Hank fell to his knees beside her. There’s something between them, Ned guessed, surprised and disappointed.
Alice sat up and put a hand to her forehead. “I almost drowned out there,” she told Hank, “but this boy saved me.”
For the first time, Hank looked at Ned. It had been a long time since the two boys had stood face to face—not since high school, Ned thought. Ned held out his hand. “Ned Wakefield,” he said, not because he didn’t think Hank would remember him, but because he wanted Alice to know his name.
Hank gave Ned’s hand a brisk shake. “I’m Hank Patman. I owe you my deepest thanks.”
Ned narrowed his eyes. Hank’s words were gracious, but just like in the old days, Ned felt his motives were less than pure. He’s treating me like a stranger just so he can brush me aside. “You don’t owe me a thing,” Ned said, his voice flat.
Then he turned back to Alice. And when he looked again into her wide, gentle eyes, he forgot all about Hank Patman and the other onlookers. He and Alice might as well have been the only two people on the beach—the only two people in the world.
“How are you feeling?” he asked her, surprised by the tenderness he felt, his desire to put his arms around her once more, as he had when he carried her from the sea.
“All right,” Alice said, her voice still a little shaky. “By the way, I’m Alice Robertson, and I... I’ve never had anyone save my life before.”
Ned laughed. “I’ve never saved anyone’s life before. I’m just incredibly glad that I was coming down the beach at the right time.”
Ned could have remained like that forever, bending close to Alice, gazing into her eyes. But the moment, the magic, was soon broken by Hank. Hank put his arm possessively around Alice and helped her to her feet. As the couple exchanged a few words in lowered voices, Ned felt shut out. He got the message Hank was sending him: It’s my turn now. Get lost!
An arm still firmly around Alice’s waist, Hank started to steer her back to the party. But Alice hung back. “Bye,” she said softly. “And thank you. Thank you a million times.”
“You’re welcome a million times,” Ned said with a smile. And he meant it. It was crazy, but he almost wished he’d have a million more opportunities to save Alice Robertson’s life.
Ned hefted the surfboard onto his shoulder and walked over the dune to the parking lot. What could a girl like Alice see in a guy like Hank? Was it his money? No, Ned felt instinctively that Alice wasn’t that type. The most logical explanation was that there wasn’t any kind of serious relationship between the two. Ned was happy with this conclusion. He couldn’t help hoping that Alice Robertson’s heart was free.
Ned spotted the familiar sun-gold head bending over a book on the other side of the library reading room. And there was an empty chair right next to her. Ned hurried across the room. “Alice, hi.”
“Oh, hi, Ned.” She closed her book and looked up at him with a smile. “Sorry I couldn’t talk at lunch today. But I was on my way to the art studio.”
“You’re an art major, eh?”
“Yep.” She tapped the cover of the book. “And I have an art history exam tomorrow.”
“You probably have a lot of studying to do.” Ned knew he should leave her alone. But he couldn’t tear himself away. He looked for her wherever he went, and it always seemed that just as he found her she was gathering up her books to go someplace else.
“It shouldn’t be too bad,” she said. “It’s my music appreciation test in a couple of days that I’m really worried about. No matter how many hours I spend in the music lab listening to operas and symphonies, I always have ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ on my mind.”
“I love Dylan,” Ned said.
“He’s my favorite.” For a long moment, they just looked into each other’s eyes. Then Alice laughed awkwardly. “Well, I’d better go. There’s a SPAN meeting... I said I’d meet Hank.”
Ned nodded. He’d spotted Alice at a number of political meetings and rallies recently, and Hank was almost always with her. Apparently Hank was quite the liberal activist these days. Everyone on campus knew about his having hired a helicopter to drop food to students at the recent campus sit-in, which had gotten Professor Yarovitch, a civil rights activist, reinstated on the faculty. Maybe Hank wasn’t as shallow and self-centered as he used to be—Ned figured he owed it to Hank, or rather Alice, to at least consider that possibility. But it seemed much more likely that Hank was just dabbling in politics, having some college fun.
“Hey, I’m going to the meeting, too,” Ned said. “I’ll walk you over there.”
“Thanks, but actually I’m stopping at Hank’s dorm first. I’ll see you later, OK?”
“OK.”
Alice gathered up her books and stood up. Again, she and Ned just looked at each other for a moment. Now’s the time, Ned urged himself. Ask her out. But he didn’t—he couldn’t. Hank’s name seemed to come up just a little too often.
Alice was blushing. “Bye, Ned,” she said quickly. Then she hurried from the reading room.
Ned watched her go. It took a while for his heartbeat to return to its normal rhythm. He hadn’t planned to go to the SPAN meeting, but now he wouldn’t miss it for the world. As brief as his encounters with Alice Robertson usually were, they had become the center of his existence.
“Alice Robertson. Doesn’t she date Hank Patman?” Rachel asked.
It was a school night, and the cousins had met at the coffeehouse for a study break. They’d nabbed a small table at the front of the smoky, crowded room, near the stage where a girl was playing the guitar and singing. “They hang out a lot,” Ned had to acknowledge. “But it doesn’t matter. I can’t get her off my mind.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “Ned, I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you.”
He grinned sheepishly. “She’s all I think about. I talk to her every chance I get—I know where she studies in the library, which table she sits at in South Hall for lunch. I know it sounds crazy, Rachel. I hardly know her. But there’s something about her. That day at the beach, when I saved her life...” Ned’s eyes grew hazy, remembering. “It was like we looked right into each other’s soul. I saw right then and there what kind of person she was. She’s not a fake, like Rainbow. She’s for real.”
Rachel bit into one of the giant homemade cookies for which the coffeehouse was famous. “This is far out. Is she giving you any encouragement?”
Ned shrugged. “She’s always friendly, always sweet. But she’s also always in a hurry. We usually talk for about two minutes and then she has to rush off somewhere else. Usually to meet Hank,” he added glumly.
“Hmm. Well, I’ve only spoken to Alice once, at a Women for Peace meeting. But she seemed very nice. Too nice for Hank!”
“So you don’t think I should give up?”
“Definitely not.” In Rachel’s opinion, it was high time that her wonderful cousin had some luck in the love department. And what rational woman would prefer Hank Patman over Ned Wakefield? “I’m sure if Alice knew you were interested— look, Ned!”
Ned followed his cousin’s gaze toward the back of the coffeehouse. Alice had just sat down at a table with her friend, Jenny Jenkins. “It’s her,” he said eagerly.
Alice had spotted him as well. Ned lifted his hand in a wave; Alice waved back. “She’s going to the counter for some coffee,” observed Rachel. “Here’s your chance to tell her how you feel. Ask her out! What have you got to lose?”
Ned took a deep breath and pushed back his chair. “You’re right!”
He stood up and made his way to the back of the coffeehouse. Rachel sipped her coffee. As she hummed along to the music, she resisted the urge to turn around and see how the conversation was going between Ned and Alice. She took another bite of her cookie. He’d been gone for a few minutes. That was a good sign.
But when Ned returned to the table, it took only one glance for Rachel to see that things had not gone as he’d hoped. “Did you ask her for a date?” Rachel asked.
“In a roundabout way,” Ned said, slumping in his chair.
“And she said no,” Rachel surmised, disappointed on her cousin’s behalf. “I guess she really is going steady with Hank. There’s no other reason she’d turn down a guy like you! But hey.” She made an effort to cheer Ned up. “Maybe things won’t last between those two. One of these days, she’s sure to figure out that he’s a complete jerk, just playing the activist hero for a while, and that all the money in the world can’t make up for the fact that he’s—”
“They’re not going to break up,” Ned interrupted her. “They’re engaged, Rachel. They’re getting married.”
“Getting married?” Rachel was so shocked she dropped her cookie into her coffee.
“She’s wearing a diamond as big as a golf ball,” Ned said bitterly. “I guess there’s nothing Patman money can’t buy.”
“No. It can’t be like that between them,” said Rachel. “She must really love him.” But that didn’t make sense to Rachel, either. “Maybe he’s not as bad as he was back in highs chool,” she went on, without much conviction. “Maybe he’s really changed. Or maybe...”
Ned pressed her. “Maybe what?”
“Maybe... nothing.” Ned was hurting enough. Rachel didn’t want to make him feel worse by revealing her doubts about Hank. Maybe Hank is manipulating Alice the way Becky Foster tried to manipulate Ned freshman year.
But Rachel could see by Ned’s morose expression that a similar idea had occurred to him. The two sat in silence. There was really nothing else to say, Rachel realized sadly. Ned had to face the facts. Not only was the girl of his dreams out of his reach, but she was throwing herself away on a man who might someday make her miserable.
